Just yesterday , I saw how suffering she was which collapsed my heart.....Bubu cried , yes....an animal CRIED AND I M THE FUCKING OWNER , THOUGH I ADMIT I M A BAD OWNER..I wiped off her tears......
I had been convincing my dad to bring her to a vet but dad was always BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY and told me : ok fine , will bring it to there vet @ weekends..... but since like I can't bare seeing her suffering , I convinced my Dad : NO MATTER HOW BUSY YOU ARE TOMORROW , PLEASE BRING BUBU TO THE VET BECAUSE SHE'S SUFFERING UNTIL SHE EVEN FLOWED OUT TEARS ON HER EYES.
Today , I came home from school...she's screaming with a low humming voice , not like how she usually scream for carrots or lettuce...she seems to be out of energy to scream already but she still did...I came to her , seeing her crying again...again I wiped her tears and said , I'm sorry...please be strong until I end my tuition @ 7pm
After tuition , I told dad please bring Bubu to the vet now , she seems like dying this afternoon...Dad agreed , went to the vet place and asked whether they treat guinea pigs and they do...I smiled , beneath my heart thinking Bubu I'm coming home to pick u up to the vet :))))
BUT I WAS FUCKING TOO LATE !!!!!! !($*&!*$(($(@!&*$!@$^!#^&@&^@## FUCKING HELL LIFE
I touched her cold body , CANT FEEL A FUCKING HEARTBEAT NO MORE , HER EYES ARE DRY , THEN I KNOW I WAS TOO LATE......I was....................TOO LATE....... THE FIRST TIME I CRIED FOR AN ANIMAL , THE FEELING IS JUST LIKE LOOSING SOMETHING SO IMPORTANT TO YOU , AND WORST OF ALL WHEN SHE LEFT , SHE LEFT WITHOUT A WORD. I WASN'T EVEN THERE FOR HER , WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF OWNER IS THIS?
I'm so ANGRY with MYSELF RIGHT NOW.....though mum try to convince me and said pets die just like that , like Kathleen's Pebbles...
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? KATHLEEN's DOG IS DIFFERENT !!!!!!!
DO YOU KNOW THAT BUBU IS STILL DAMN YOUNG? SHE DIED AS SUCH YOUNG AGE AND THAT IS NOT FAIR FOR HER. IF SHE DIED BECAUSE OF OLD AGE , THAT MEANS AT LEAST I DID MY BEST , MY DUTY WELL FOR THE SAKE OF HER. BUT I DIDN'T. ITS ALL MY FUCKING FAULT......
I won't hear her screaming when I was climbing up the stairs to my room daily,
I don't feel like its my room at all when I enter it without the presence of you ,
Everytime while I play computer , I often turn backs and look @ her munching stuffs , sleeping , drinking her water......now ALL I SEE IS A FUCKING EMPTY CAGE WITH MEMORIES.
Everytime I walk in my room , the first thing where I looked was Bubu , NOW THERE's NO MORE.
BUBU WAS MY ONLY COMPANION , A PET WHERE I CAN TELL ALL MY SECRETS TO AND ALL SHE DO IS STARE @ ME WITH AN INNOCENT LOOK
WHO AM I SUPPOSE TO TELL ALL MY SECRETS TO NOW? HUMANS? I DONT TRUST NO ONE AT ALL IN THIS WORLD , TOO MUCH BETRAYERS AND FUCKERS IN THIS WORLD
Back then , you were so tiny and cute......the first time I let you walk around my computer table u ended up seeking for the speakers to pee on it.....I miss the days where I turn around my chair and see you , I miss the days where you climb up the cage and I just tickle ur stomach, I miss patting you , I miss feeding you, I miss your screamings, I miss holding you in my hands with ur fat bum...I miss you licking and sucking my fingers , that comfortable irresistible feeling that tells me you are happy :)....I MISS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU :(
R.I.P BUBU
28/11/10 - 23/6/11
THANKS FOR BEING THERE FOR ME THESE 6 MONTHS
THANKS FOR HEARING MY THOUGHTS
THANKS FOR BRIGHTEN UP MY DAY
THANKS FOR BEING THERE FOR ME ALWAYS WHEN I NEED YOU
THANKS FOR ALL THE JOY YOU GAVE ME
I'M SORRY I COULDN'T EVEN CELEBRATE YOUR ONE YEAR BIRTHDAY
I'M SORRY I AM SUCH A FKED UP OWNER
I'M SORRY FOR BEING SO IGNORANT
I'M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING I DID
Appreciate things around you as everything is unpredictable in life , you might me here today , you might not be here the next second , minute , hour , day , month , year....
